This was sent to me by my fellow July '05 mommy, Tara. Her daughter has been diagnosed with autism as well. Although, the theology of this story does not necessarily mirror what I believe, the story makes my heart warm and my eyes fill with tears. The idea that God chose me to be the mommy of Parker, and that he finds me up for the task, gives me hope.
If you are a crier, grab the tissues.;)
The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by
social pressures and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000
women will become mothers of special needs children. Did you ever
wonder how mothers of special needs children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his
instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He
observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to
profanity." "Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."
"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew." Finally He
passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a special needs child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a special needs child to a
mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But has
she patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much
patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once
the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it." "I
watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence
that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child
I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live
in her world and that's not going to be easy." "But, Lord, I don't
think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix
that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The
angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she
can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never
survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child that
the world sees as less than perfect.
She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never
take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step"
ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will
be present at a miracle, and will know it!" "I will permit her to
see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and
allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at
her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is
doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised
in mid-air. God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
So, last week Parker was diagnosed with autism. As much as we were preparing ourselves for this information, it still came as a real blow to actually hear the words. His therapy will be increasing, but the EI (early intervention) that we work with has to do some additional evaluations themselves before they can add to the # of hours of therapy that Parker recieves. Hopefully that process will move quickly, so that we can get movin'. I am always anxious to learn some new techniques to try with him.